Rubberbanding is when a man pulls away due to increased intimacy. It has nothing to do with stress--it is to regain his autonomy and, generally, it doesn't last that long (a few days).

Caving is what a man does under stress. He'll hang out with the guys, watch sports, read the newspaper...all so he can rebuild his testosterone and fix something. Caving is not the silent treatment for weeks or months and I don't think it's weeks or months of space.

I don't think your M is doing either of these. Yes, he is under stress but the cave does not come int he form of "I need space"--not like this. I think he is possibly uncertain about how to fit you into his life given his current unsettled situation.

Delfina, you keep asking questions that require a crystal ball to answer. I have no idea how long HE will take. The question you need to ask yourself is, "how long will I be willing to put up with a guy needing how much space?"

You have some power here. You are not a victim. You may not be able to control the outcome of this, but you can have dignity and only accept good behavior.

The thing is, men deal with time differently than we do. TODAY he may think all he needs is time. TOMORROW he may decide you are the best thing ever. Then again, he might decide he's better off alone. There is no way to know. So he may not be lying to you so much as not really knowing what he wants.

"Receiving warmly" doesn't mean taking cr*p either.

And even if he does turn around and decide you are the best thing since sliced bread, could you ever trust him to not run away and "I need space" again? It's been 3 weeks since he said those words, and even though he's apologized and misses you and saw you on Monday, he's still "needing some space". What does that even mean when you barely see each other as it is?

Keep the focus on you and like JR said, you do have a BIG say in this. You are not on the sidelines waiting: You are a V with needs and must continue to evaluate if this M is giving you what you need.

There are plenty of Ms who have settled, less hectic lives who would be more than willing to let you in during stressful times and who wouldn't leave you dangling in limbo like this. No offense to this M at all as I am sure he is a nice guy with good qualities.

About a month of "space" in a six month relationship is 1/6 of that relationship. I understand you wanna give this a chance, but don't sit there and smile because you think that's what you should do. Be gracious in giving him a bit of space to do natural M things (rubberbanding, caving), but don't be a doormat. Men do not respect doormats.