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> He's 50 yrs old and never been married
OfflineFriendlywmn36
post 09/28/05 07:32 PM
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I am 35 yrs old. I've never had the desire to date younger men or men close to my age. Older professional men really turn me on. My experience dating older men has not been good. They seem to serious. Sometimes they act like my father or try to manipulate me into accepting things I have objections to.

Recently, I met an attractive 50 yr old man. He's never been married and has no children. According to him, he wants to be married and have children.

I've heard rumors that he's dated many women over the years. Also, two people that have known him for years, told me about rumors of him being gay. One of the guys said "he always talk about women, about getting married, yada, yada, yada but you never see him with a woman."

There's nothing wrong with being single or unmarried. But, what are the chances of a person getting married after being unmarried all of their adult life. Am I wasting my time with this guy?
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Offlinepassionpuddle
post 09/30/05 02:55 PM
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I certainly hope not--I'm dating a 53 year old guy who's never been married. Personally, I think it can go either way: some guys bloom later, but when they do, they bloom brilliantly. My uncle married a woman with 3 children later in life, and it work out fine. My guy, in theory, is ready and wants to be in a committed relationship. He yearns for it. But real, right-in-front-of-his-face me, may not match up to the virtual woman he's been perfecting all these years. Still, he's smart, I think he can get it: real me is better than virtual unattainable girl. We'll see--good luck to you!


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We say the things we need to hear, so I say, DON'T EAT THE RUBBERBAND!
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OfflineGemma
post 09/30/05 06:59 PM
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I'm dating a guy who's 55 & never been married.

Although he's always said otherwise, It's pretty clear to me that he's remained unmarried by choice. He's very set in his ways, a bit on the selfish side, and it's difficult to imagine him truly sharing his life with a woman. Thus far, he's been unable/unwilling to give much in our relationship (1+ year; known him for 15+ yrs).

Like your M, mine has also dated quite a bit, but you never heard about him being in a serious relationship (I'm guessing that many of his friends don't even know he's in an exclusive relationship with me because our contact is so limited). He also hangs out with his group of friends (most of them unmarried) a lot.

I too once heard someone speculating that my M is gay (he's very neat (metro-sexual?) but also very masculine, very well dressed) but I think that this probably has a lot to do w/ his age & the never married status.

Funny story... My M was once in a building where a gay men's social function was taking place. A gay man who rode with him in the elevator took him for gay & basically hit on him. Hmmm..... Maybe that's the explanation that's been eluding me! wink.gif

Anyway, I don't think it's possible to cleanly categorize all 50+/unmarried guys as being either available or unavailable for marriage. It's going to depend on the individual.

Do senior citizen discounts transfer to a younger girlfriend? Kidding....

Good luck with yours...

- Gemma
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Offlinehiya
post 09/30/05 09:48 PM
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I don't think his being unmarried at his age means toss him out immediately. But I think that there are likely reasons that may not be healthy on his part why he has never been in a really serious relationship. At the lesst he has become set in his ways from living alone and you may never be able to modify those or compromise with him. I know this from myself as a 36 year old single woman and I often have higher expections because I have waited so long. But I do have a child and children teach you to care for others and be less selfish.

I would get from him a relationship history to see what his past relationships have been like and why they ended. I would try to discuss with him what has kept him from commitment. I think it is unusual enough to be cautious about the reasons for him not getting serious with someone. There probably is a reason and if he can talk about it maybe you can move forward! Hope this helps!
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