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25 questions you should ask before tying the knot!

25 Questions You Should Ask Before Tying the Knot

The desire to share your life with someone in marriage is a natural step to take. But before tying the knot, there are a few important questions you should ask yourself and your mate. In therapy circles it is widely known that the most common fights in marriages are about money and sex. Have you ever considered your compatibility on those issues? What about the day to day things like chores, or grocery shopping? Have you considered kids? Will you even have kids? There really is a lot to think about.

Use this list of questions as a guide to help learn the important answers to some of life's difficult challenges before they become an issue. Remember, it's the differences we don't anticipate that seem so devastating when they happen.

  1. Do you want to have children? If so, how many do you want?

  2. If you are not able to have kids, would you choose to remain childless, or try for adoption or another alternative?

  3. If you do have kids, who will stay home with them? For how long?

  4. Should one person sacrifice their career for the sake of being at home? For how long? How will you afford this?

  5. How will you spend your vacations? Will you take vacations together or apart or both?

  6. How do you plan on solving arguments? Should you go to bed angry?

  7. What are your feelings about monogamy and infidelity?

  8. What discipline style do you want to use with your children?

  9. What religion will you practice, if any? Will you attend church, as a couple or as a family?

  10. What are your expectations around sex? How often, and what should you do if one person is interested and the other isn't?

  11. Who will pay the bills every month?

  12. How will you combine incomes and divide expenses? What percentage of the bills are you responsible for? Do you feel this is fair?

  13. Where do you see your marriage in 2 years? 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?

  14. Are you a morning person or a late night person?

  15. Who will do the grocery shopping, cooking, general cleaning of the inside of the house and the outside of the house? Is this fair?

  16. What are your spending habits? How much should we put in savings monthly?

  17. Does your family have a history of mental illness?

  18. What are your goals, long term and short term for the following topics: Career, children, ownership of things like house, and any additional expenses that will affect you both.

  19. Where will you live? Whose house will you live in? Will you get a new place?

  20. Do you see yourself living in the same city for a while or would you like to eventually change locations?

  21. How often do you need a "date night?"

  22. Are there any things "off limits" to your partner?

  23. What is the best way to support you when you are stressed, upset, or overwhelmed?

  24. If you have problems in your marriage, to what lengths will you go to work things out? Is there anything in your mind that "cannot be repaired?"

  25. What are 5 small ways you can show and/or tell your partner that you love them each and every day without them having to ask for it?

Some questions will require a lot of thought. Take your time with each one and let these questions be a guide. If you get stuck, put that question on hold for now and go to the next one. Don't allow one question to keep you from going through the list. Remember, the best marriages are built on a strong foundation.

Do you have questions about this article? Do you need help understanding how this information can change your life? Talk to one of our expertly trained telephone coaches today and get the answers you are looking for. You can call from the privacy of any phone, and our operators are available to assist you with processing your call.

Call 1-888-627-7836 for details and a personal message from Dr. John Gray.


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